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June 17, 2010

FerrisWheel in Sunset of Lyon, France


Ferris Wheel in sunset of Lyon, France
Tool: black ink, water color

This picture dedicates to my best friend who used to be the most important person for 15 years in my childhood. Thanks for her presents in my life. For me, she is like the little fox for the little prince.

When I was a little girl, it seemed so easy to get whatever I want. And everything I like tasted sweet and true. I was once sure about all, sure about myself, thus felt good. Even I was refused on getting some spoiled love or spoiled things, I didn't feel that bad, just cried and then forgot it.
Now I'd say, it's hard to grow up. When there's nobody say 'you can't get this', that eventually means nobody is anymore responsible for passing spoiled love or spoiled things to me. I have to get them all on my own, from this world of which the rules I haven't learn well. This turns out being a truth without an always-right way to follow. And even by chance I followed a right way and got what I wished, things are not that simple anymore as before. Now I probably would keep all candies in tea-box instead of eating each one at the moment when I got it. I feel I'm responsible for every little thing I collected around me, I have to tame them, I have to be careful not losing them. There's a fear about ending of life, about losing love, about being abandoned. My world is all about me, I have no time or chance anymore to taste the simple sweetness and truth. Maybe I just forgot it.
I'm tired. I wanna my little fox.
The most tragic thing is not giving up towards love, but not giving up.
But I'm even proud of myself.

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